A Commitment, A Promise and A Purpose...

It's been playing on my mind recently just how often I can find myself in a rut and how often I seem to lack the ability to take control in some areas in my life, and yet in others, I am considered a control freak. My first baby is off to school next year, and that fact rips my heart out and causes me a great deal of anxiety and uncertainty. I don't want the world to influence her yet, I'm not ready for her to learn that kids can be mean and life is hard. But most of all I do not want to let a single second go by wasted in this last year I have before she starts. We are already in March and I can feel the year slipping away already. Not yet... please not yet. SO I am determined to make this year a year full of wonderful amazing memories that her and I, and her litttle sister will create together(And Dad too of course, when he isnt at work). I will also make sure we are preparing for all of the learny schooly type stuff as well, but mostly I just want to give her a year that is as full as possible of what she loves the most, play. Imaginary play. Think dolls house, barbies, dress ups, 'mums and dads', doctors, shops.... She loves it and loves it even more when I join in, which, on reflection, hasn't been enough lately. What's been stopping me? Email checking and Facebook. Bye Bye computer, you may see me in the evenings, but unless its work related we will meet no longer during the times my children are awake. I am going to set my self a goal for the next week, that everytime I have a free moment and I think about FB, I will pick up a book to read, it bothers me how often my girls see me on a computer, and I would much rather them see me reading a book. I won't lie this will be an incredible challenge for me, so here goes......